yer!
so disappointed.
sad liao.
=(
wa if sihui never see my phone
nvr see tat photo
i think i tis life oso wun noe.
sucks.
grrr..
after i see i reali speechless.
siokwen i guess she speechless oso lols.
zaizai tis morning still say
"dun look like leh"
burt i guess if she know she will turn off duh.
maybe.
life's full of surprises. and SHOCKS.
nvm la.
fated.
hahas..

very tired.
chionging history like it's the end of the world
sleep very little..
eyes oso red red ler..
jux now took photo with qinqin..
then wa! my eyes so sore la.
i wan sleep!!!!!!!!!

recieved a msg from fan.
sho happy hahas.
=(
why happy still =( ?
duno leh.
feeling very empty.
when i saw the mail i was like "YAY!"
hahas.
burt only for a sec.
then emo again.
nvm la.
in my depression state..as usual
esp after knowing bout ward sihui said.
damn!
very very depressed lately.
feel like everything's the end.
aiya.
dun care.
maybe one day smth will make me happy?
well.
i hope one day smth happens to make me happy.
i HOPE.

Walk Away
By: Paula Deanda



I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me
I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me

You gonna remember me boo
I'm gonna remember you too
I can't forget all the crazy shhh.. we used to do
You was doing too much
I wasn't doing enough
That's what your friends are saying
You got a man anyway
I can't explain it neither
I ain't never wanna leave ya
Hell ya its hard to walk away when I see ya
When I see ya I remember the day
You put your shoes on and moved on
Before I could say

I saw you with your new girl just yesterday
And I feel that I must confess
Even though it kills me to have to say
I'll admit that I was impressed
Physically just short of perfection
Gotta commend you on your selection
Though I know I shouldn't be concerned
In the back of my mind
I can't help but question
Does she rub your feet
When you've had a long day
Scratch your scalp
When you take out your braids
Does she know that you like too
Play PS2 till 6 in the morning
Like I do

I can't explain this feeling
I think about it everyday
And even though we've moved on
It gets so hard to walk away
(I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me)
Walk Away, Walk Away
(I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me)

I can't forget how we used to be
Our life from day to day
Hoping maybe you'll come back
And though I tell myself not to be afraid
To move on but it seems I can't
Though a new man has given me attention
It ain't the same as your affection
Though I know I should be content
In the back of my mind
I can't help but question
Does he kiss me on the forehead
Before we play
Show up on my doorstep
(with a bouquet)
Does he call me in the middle of the day
Just to say hey baby I love you
Like you used to

I can't explain this feeling
I think about it everyday
And even though we've moved on
It gets so hard to walk away
(I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me)
Walk Away, Walk Away
(I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me)

I'm Gonna Remember You
Your Gonna Remember Me
The things we did
The way we shared our fantasies
Just you and me
My friend, my love, my family
How did we loose a love that seemed meant to be
Sometimes I kiss her and wish that it was you I'm kissing
Sometimes I miss him and wish that it was you I'm missing
Sometimes I hug her and wish that it was you I was hugging
And I realize how much I'm bugging
I miss you

Walk Away, Walk Away

(I'm Gonna Remember You
Your Gonna Remember Me)

So hard to express this feeling
Cause nobody compares to you
And you know she'll never love you like I do

I can't explain this feeling
I think about it everyday
And even though we've moved on
It gets so hard to walk away

(I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me)

Walk Away, Walk Away

Remember You

(I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me)

(I'm gonna remember you
You're gonna remember me)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
so sweet tis song?
yeah.
i posted tis song before..
burt decided to post it again.
with lyrics tis time.
cux was talking to siokwen today
and i thought about tis song
yeah.
it's..hais i duno.
it jux kept reminding me.
went makan at mos today..
then tok tok tok with siokwen..
then i realised..
actuali sometimes..things in tis world is reali unpredictable.
it's been YEARS ok.
never tort tat after YEARS it wld be brought up again.
life is reali ... duno. speechless.
i hope.
i oso duno ward im hoping for.
k i mux be so crazy tat i duno ward im toking about.
i jux hope.
to be happy.
ya.
maybe tat's ward im hoping for.
althou i duno how to achieve it.

used a few min and did tis little thing..
cux i rmbred qinqin said she'd love to have smth like tis..
paiseh ar qinqin..
my adobe abit sotsot..
tis's the best i can do ler..
=))

alright!
i'd be back later lo~~
=))

midyr's FINALLY over.
gosh tis is reali difficult..
feeling very very xin ku
and couldnt study well.
i know A'level's gonna be worse.
hais.
i really canort take tis
exams REALLY suck.
im so tired of everything.
i wan to throw away my everything.
i dun wan anything anymore.
i dun think i can handle anything.
im so tired.
can someone give me a break?

alright..
tok about something happy..
after the last shitty history paper ytd
me n ting they all went marina square
went seoul garden makan..
then shop wid qin for her gf's present..
then qin wanted to buy ring for doreen de
burt marina there dun have nice de.
so sweet.
it reminds me of tat time sihui tat ring..
the black one from couple lab
it's so nice..can turn de.
somemore it's BLACK!
hahas.
then i went cut hair lo
my fringe damn long very irritating.
pity fyn wasnt in..she off
sian i like her hairstyling skills.
next time book appointment wid her barhs.
after trimming my hair
wenwen went creative fix her mp3
den we all very tired
in the end we went sitting at "world of sports" (is it?)
hahas..
sit until almost wan fall asleep.
then after retrieving wenwen's mp3 we went home ler.
damn tired cux didnt sleep much the night before.
zZz..

hms..
recently
i begin to have some new thinkings
burt im feeling guilty about it.
am i very selfish n bad?
i think i am.
i keep thinking : "how can i do this?! it's so bad of me"
then i told qinling..
and i asked her "am i very bad?am i very heartless to have such thinkings?"
she told me..
"no..i think it's jux normal.maybe girls are lidat de la.always think too much."
really?is tat so?is it jux normal?
i duno la.
i really duno ward to do.
i think..i've changed.
ya. i did.
and it's nort good?
hais.
who can tell me the answer?
burt i dun dare to do anything lo.
cux im afraid of the ending.
the consequences might be dire.
i think i'd jux pray hard n die la.

chris gaylor..tyson ritter..mike kennerty..nick wheeler!!


nick wheeler~~!!!!

so cute!!
starting to like them recently..
esp nick wheeler
he's so damn cute (>.<)
hahas! bleahs~~

hate studying~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah im back.
i know i should be studying hahas.
burt im reali dying la!!!
was on the phone wid zaizai jux now
damn funny lols
siao one la she.
burt it reali did brighten my day.
so long nvr tok to her ler sobs.
i miss my frens.
=((

toking to desmond on msn now..
glad to know tat he's doin fine
seems like he's very happy in temasek poly
he's drooling over the babes lols.

earlier on..
i talked to fan too..
he's back in hongkong now for the hols
burt he's still mugging there lols..
he's still the same i guess.
still such a nice and gentle guy.
it's been a long time.
i wonder how he's doin?
talking to him
all the memories flooded back..
(huimin if u're reading tis, pls dun anyhow say. dun cry too haha.)
i sdnly recalled the times we had together
we were so young then.
hahas..
the primary school days..
sigh.
i miss huimin oso.
rmbr how we used to make fun of fan?
hahas!
it was so carefree then.
nort like now..
hais.

as pple grow up..
we tend to close our hearts.
cux we've been hurt too many times
we close our hearts to avoid being hurt again.
it's scary.
the innocence's gone
ward's left is selfishness..lies..and heartaches.
im suddenly reminded of winston.
(cux he jux gort online)
hahas.
i cant believe he'd changed SO much.
from tat blurblur innocent boy to lidat.
i wouldnt say he's bad now.
burt duno leh..
i dun like the present him.
he used to be true and sweet.
burt hais.
yeah i know pple change.
it's cruel.
even fan will change.
yeah. i know.
he did changed.
burt..he didnt change much?
or maybe only bcux i duno la.
burt talking to him..
he's still him leh.
after so many years
how can he still be so nice??!!
i think if it's other pple
they'd ignore me already.
after all the things i've done.
i've been so extreme towards him.
it's inconceivable how he can still talk to me so nicely and gently.
is he human? lols.
burt.. im so thankful he still regards me as a fren.
he'll always..ALWAYS be my good fren.
right?
=))
after we all grow up..
minmin.. do u still rmbr?
me.. minmin.. fan.. wileen.. susanna.. liwen.. waikwong.. chinwee..
no matter how old i'd be..
i'll still rmbr the days.
the happy times we had together.
=))

~stolen from qinqin's blog..~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i would give my tomorrows for one yesterday. i know you will too. everyday when time doesn't permit us to stay any longer i leave with only half a soul. because i left the other half with you. it's undescibable.

heart attack kills someone instantly. but a broken heart slowly eats you up.

yes. for once indeed i thank god. not because he brought us together. but because he wrote in my fate, 'you will spend the most memorable times with him and thank me even if i gave you just one day to live.'

and yes, we will be friends. i'll be there. promise.

yea we're still standing strong don't worry.

just wanted to say you're the best thing that ever happened to me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ok i changed the words..i changed the "her" to "him"
tis was a post by qinqin a year ago..
tat's long (o.O)
burt jux came across it and felt tat it's so sweet.
ok gtg back mugging.
later~~
=))

went for camp on fri, 8th june
it was nort bad la
althou nort extremely exciting like the vball girls de
hahas..

bombed fonsus
and he n mingxiang sneaked attack on me
and i was drenched.
(-____-)||
idiot.
me n zarifah bought quite alot of food
and gobbled them up
hahas..

and we went star gazing at the soccer field
then timothy was playing the guitar
with illis and seewan singing..
mingxiang and his darling + xiangqi were sitting on the floor chatting
then me zarifah fonsus n ondreas were lying on the bench
half dozing lols
(we carried the bench there)
and it was damn nice..
=))
after tat tim n seewan went back guitar room slack
den fonsus started playing the guitar
"far away"!!!
and i started singing hahas
(stupid zarifah on the phone wid huda)
den me n david chat for a long...long...time
using canto lols
den fonsus keep disturbing us wid his guitar cux he dun understan a word
(-______-)
den me n david were singing
and heard somebody shouted
"falling star!!!"
(T~T)
me n dave was too busy singing so didnt see
sobsobs..
illis was dozing off, zarifah on the phone
so they didnt see oso
burt it was so sweet la^^
den fonsus n dave carried the bench back
and i rode on it
ahhahahas!
so nice
rocky rocky~~
burt when junsheng came over and wanted to sit on it
i jumped off immediately
fonsus n dave let go immediately oso
heng if nort everyone wld collapse.
LOLS!

den we went to IT room
and they watched "pirates of the carribean"
i watch before so i went out wid illis zarifah n dave to play poker
damn sian
didnt stay up cux dave didnt wake me n illis up
in the end we slept thru while they hang arnd
the classroom tables were damn uncomfortable
den zarifah (who slept beside me)
came nearer n nearer to me while she slept
cux it was cold
(-______-)
i was so scared i'd hit her when i turned la!
damn uncomfortable!
=(

oh ya..
sorry to my sisters..
i was abit in the depression state earlier on.
(>.<)
burt dun worry im ok
im jux emo-ing again hahas.

comp spoil cant update=(
finally get a chance to update now..
so well..
it's the start of holidays!=))

first day of holidays..
-monday 28th May 2007-
went out wid my sisters..
went vivo
ms tan hui ting
heard me wrongly
and made everyone meet at 10.30am instead of 11.30am
(-____-)||
so we all woke up damn early
and ms tan n ms yeo were LATE
in the end me n zaizai went walking arnd first.
...*bish!*
den shushu saw edwin tan
(-____-)||

after huiting n jiajia reached
we all went to buy tickets for pirates of the carribean
den after we makan
we went walking arnd the mall
we went giant and bought food hahas
den went to sit at the merry-go-round outside
hahas!
huiting zaizai n me were on it
den pple were looking
burt it was damn funny lols..
who cares bout other pple looking as long as we enjoyed ourselves?
(^.<) after tat we went daiso and arcade and we played for some time den it was time for the movie it was great! johnny depp's sexy! hahas..bleahs~~ orlando's nort bad too when he "died" me n jiajia was damn sad la luckily he was revived=) burt i think jiajia was more sad when CHOW YUN FAT died. LOLS!!! seriously i think she did. cux when i said to zaizai n shushu "when he(orlando) died i was so shocked n sad la!" jiajia: "ya lo ya lo!" me: "cux he's shuai rite..lols" jiajia: "ok la chow yun fat nort bad." me: "!!!wth i toking bout orlando bloom lars!!" HAHAHAS!!!! it's okie. cux we ALWAYS knew jiajia liked old men plus she's a stalker. ahahahahahas.. den after the movie we went arcade again lols..wasted alort of money burt it was fun la hahas. we had a great time playing the "counter" game ok watever cux i duno ward's the name of tat game hahas. burt i kena hit duno how many times by miss tan. (-_____-) ah dui. den their "controller"(or watever tat's called) can fly out somemore (-_____-)|| damn funny laugh until i get cramps it was nice lols..let's go play again someday=) second day of holidays
-tuesday 29th May 2007-
went bugis today
and bought a pair of Kappa shoes!
it's black!
hahas and i loved it.
den today supposed to have lessons in the morning
idiot teacher made us wake up early
(i woke up at 5.30am)
and then she pangseh us!
wth..
burt nah
so there's no lesson and we went mac
and i spilled my cappuccino.
it was all over the place.
(T~T)
sadded!!!

third day of holidays
-30th May 2007-
SIGH!
gotta go back to school today for econs n history
damn sian.
as usual woke up at 5.30am
and now im dozing off in front of the comp.
well i jux did doze off.
sian!
burt after the lessons went compass point makan wid my sisters
we couldnt make up our mind on ward to eat
so retarded lor.
so we ended up drawing lots.
and so we ended up in BK.
(-____-)||
and huiting reali noe how to choose seat.
she actuali chose the EXACT seat we used to sat.
lols?
(-____-)||
burt we changed seat after tat la
and after eating the herseys choco sundae pie
i felt happy hahas.
den we talked for a long time
about almost everything we could think of.
it was nice talking to my sisters like tat.
and it was great to laugh our heads off together like tat.
it was the best of times.=)

=))
today went kovan pizza hut wid my sisters
the chinese girls anna janet n zarifah
den ate gelato!
felt so happy hahahas..
den we went to play pool
and gort tis two SUPER CUTE didi
omg so cute lor they
one 11yrs old one 9yrs old
and they looked like twins!
hahas..
they dark dark de abit like malay
burt they are chinese la
and so young already ah beng ah beng lidat.
lols!

so cute k
den dun see they two so young k
they quite pro in pool la!
den me anna n qinling played
den super paiseh k
cux we very lousy
esp me lols..
the two didi are brothers
den the older one coached me
and the younger one helped anna
(the elder brother decide one. hahas)
den very funny
i said
"u two keep staring at me play i will stressed leh"
den the both of them hide under the table!
LOLS!!
so super cute!!!
den the older brother was telling me where to hit
the younger one like gave abit comments
den the older brother like very irritated lidat ask him quiet.
hahas!
still very confident say
"i NEVER fail before."
lols..
pro sia..
den make us these "da jie jie" so paiseh
cux we very lao pok.
hahas..

den go back sch tat time
rain super heavily
we all 8 pple share 2 umbrellas.
(-______-)||
needless to say we were drenched
esp me n jiajia
cux we sheltered the rest
den anna still so evil go flick water on jiajia.
hahas..
bleahs~~

zarifah zarifah!!!!!
can you feel the heat?
you know ward i mean!
HAHAHAHAHAS!!!!

"When You're Gone" -Avril Lavigne

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

[Chorus]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-*`` stolen from siokwen's blog ( again. hahas.) ``x-

I know it will never be.

by Elena

I spill my heart out to u,
More and more each day,
But still I know the truth,
I will never have my way.

I care about u more,
And I want it to be less,
The only thing I can do,
Is hope for the best.

I know that its never going to happen,
I know well never be,
But I can hope cant I?
And I cant help but dream.

Its just that these things,
They hurt so much,
But yet I cant cry for u,
Out of everything I do.

Don't u understand,
Yea I know u do,
Cause u feel the same way for her,
As I do for you.

I scream and yell,
But that wont help,
Trust me I tried before,
And I just ended up torn.

But yet I only wish,
That you would hold me in your arm,
Make me feel safe,
Let me think that I would never be harmed.

But I know this will never be,
It would never work,
Since you don't feel the same way for me,
Oh yea and in the past u were a jerk.

Why do I still like you?
I asked my self a million times,
But all I ever came up with,
Was all these stupid rhymes.

I'm trying so hard to let you go,
And let the friendship remain,
But still the truth is yelling out,
I can never just feel one way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i came across tis song..
quite nice..
and the lyrics are sweet..
here's part of the lyrics tat i like..

though these words i say are true
they still fail to capture you
as mere words can only do
how do i explain that smile
and how it turns my world around
keeping my feet on the ground
my baby
you are the reason i could fly

-*`` stolen from wenwen's blog.. ``*-

I came across many different quotes when I was surfing a net and I took awhile to read all of them...

These are some which I think are quite true and really meaningful...


-it's easy to fall completely for someone.. it's easy to believe all those lies.. it's easy to lose urself to someone u hardly know.. but why isnt it easy to forget someone u love, who found it easy to let u go...

-true love never dies for it is lust that fades away.. love binds for a lifetime but lust just pushes away..

-The magic in love, we follow the rule.."love one another" & if it doesnt workout.. just swap the last 2 words.."love another one"

-think & take time to listen to ur heart, sometimes u need nort ask urself who u love more but ask who really makes u happy & who makes u feel loved

-wake me up when ur heart needs company, take my heart when u feel alone.. turn to me when u need someone to lean on, cux 'til time runs out, i will always stay around..

-i may run out of message to text u, i may run out of good jokes to say, i may run out of battery or even a peso but my heart wont run out of space for someone like u..

-the only way to know tat someone truly loves u is when u turned him down u see him rise from the fall, walk up to u & say " i love u more now than i ever did before"

-It's hard to live alone, its hard to choose someone to love, but the hardest part of falling is to admit that you have fallen in love with someone you didn't mean to love from the start...

-Do you know that the worst day that I miss you is not when you were far away.. it's when you're just right beside me yet I know I can never have you cux i'm simply watching you fall for someone else..

-Sometimes you think you'e gotten over a person but when you see him smile, you suddenly realized you're just pretending you got over him to ease the pain of knowing he'll never be yours.

-You know you love someone when you can only have 1 wish, and that wish wouldn't be for that person to love you..because you wouldn't want that person's love came from a wish but from his heart


Quite true arh ? Haha.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
did some amendments to the typos and the short forms
sorry wenwen for stealing.
hahas..
burt it's reali true and sweet.
^^

it's finally raining today!!
after like so many days of hot sun
do you know something?
i love the rain.
=))

okie actuali i duno ward to blog
jux came here cux im FINALLY abit more free today.
cux i finished ALL my hmwrk (for the time-being)
*grins*
tmr wun be so free ler
cux fri gort lit test.
sigh..

-*`` feeling very complicated n complex today.. ``*-

i actuali felt happy.
plus abit of sadness.
why ar?
(o.O)||

tat mr eurasian i ignore him totally already
he knows my name school n number.
errr!!!
so freaky k.
(-_____-)

today helped gorgor with his maths
wa i noe how to do!!
i can take engineering with him ler lols.
=x
joke la.
my maths n science sucks like hell.

ward's the color of my sky today?
......it's grey.

went school today
short day burt draggy from all the sucky subjects..
gotten back my common test papers..
and i didnt do well..
i mean..as compared to CT1..
got to buck up already..

after school i went town wid wenwen n janet..
cux they wanted to buy wallet
we went to paragon cux janet said there gort roxy
in the end dun have.
(-_____-)||
so we went heeren
and they both bought the same wallet
janet's pink..wenwen's silver..
very nice sia
very tempted to buy burt bo lui(no money)
lols..

after tat janet go meet her bf
and me n wenwen went cine LJS
and eat and chat chat chat
hahas.
so nice=))
den we walked arnd cine
and i bought tis very cute mickey mouse thingy for si hui.
saw it and thought of her immediately.
hope she'll like it.^^

den me n wenwen went home lors.
jiajia n ting ting went cut hair today
in anticipation to see their new hairstyle.
hahahahas..

den reached home
feeling all emo again,
(tat's me.always emoing for no reason)
and depressed,
and there came tis weird guy who msg and called me
AND I DUNO HOW THE HELL HE KNOWS MY NUMBER AND NAME.
pissed off.
im already feeling depressed (again & as usual)
and i hate pple ka-chiaoing (disturbing) me when im emo-ing.
when im emo-ing plsplspls dun come disturb me
especially pple i dun like.
when i emo i onli want MY DARLINGS.
the rest pls stay away cux i'll nort entertain you.
who r my darlings?
zaizai wenwen huiting jiamin anna and zarifah?
onli they tok to me i'll smile.
the rest..sorry cux im reali nort in the mood
as for those i dislike (esp tat mr-weird-eurasian who duno get my no from which bastard who gave my number away)
BEFORE I GET IRRITATED N PISSED OFF
PLS STAY OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE.

i dun wan anything
i onli want to be alone.

what's meant to be, will eventually become reality.
if both are meant to be, you both will eventually be together someday..
if nort. it's better to let go earlier.
let time be the witness, to see if both are true, if both are meant to be ..
if feelings are true, time can never erase it ..
=)

thanks wenwen..

yippee!
i went for a hair treatment to cure the dry ends
and now it's all nice and smooth again=))
althou it did burnt a hole in my pocket.
(T~T)

anyway
my hair stylist rocks!
strongly recommand Fyn Tang of Chapter 2 @ Marina Square to you all
she's nice and her hair styling skills are great duh.
next time anyone wants a haircut..find her^^
the treatment's reali effective
she helped to straighten my hair back wid a straightener and some hair mask or smth,
meant for rebonded hair.
my hair looks like it's rebonded and healthy now
it saves me from having to rebond again and damaging the hair
yay im so happy!
finally dun have to worry n be upset about my tresses.
=))

Penny Kwan (anth hairstylist) is nort bad too
last time i went to cut my hair short
and he did a great job.
burt i prefer Fyn
cux she's more friendly^^

anyway
my throats hurt man
from the coughing n the sore throat
the coughing's better now
burt the sore throat jux wun go away.
argh.
i hate being sick.