2 papers down! 3 more to go!
9more days and exams are oooverrr!!
*grits teeth and hang on*

anyway can see babybunny again tmr le=)

AND CONGRATULATIONS TO QINQIN!!!!!!
OMGOMGOMG!!! IM SO HAPPY FOR U!!!
i screamed into the phone when qinqin told me the good news LOL
YAY!!!!!!
AFTER MY EXAMS WE GO CELEBRATE!!
XD

today babybunny very kindly and sweetly drove down to my house here for me
with his mummy's homecooked vermicelli soup for my lunch and pei me study
after tat we talked for awhile before bunny drove home le
thank you babybunny=)

the other day i was on the phone with qinqin
and qinqin suddenly said

"eueu..i realised that you've changed."

and then i asked
"how so?"

she replied
"duno leh..like becoming more reserved..like very unfeeling and cold..maybe u're too numbed by the many things that happened to u before.."

i've changed? im feeling a little of that too.
but i duno ward has become of me
or maybe,
right from the start i have never understood the real me.

its like
i no longer know the words to say
i feel tired of trying to make people happy
im sick of entertaining people
i feel irritated by my own reliance on other people.

that's why i shut myself out from the rest of the world.
i dun feel like trying anymore.
i dun wanna talk to anyone about my fears, my sadness, which i feel are nothing but just my own paranoids.
tats why i dun wanna bother anyone anymore.
i try to sort my own thinkings out, and yes i get happier the next day when i do.
but some time later i will feel burdened again bcux the problem has never been solved.

the problem is, i dun even know ward the problem is?

contradictory i know.
tat's why i dun even bring it up to anyone at all.

bcux i dun wanna bother anyone like i used to do all the time, bugging people with my emo-ness.
yet i cant smile from the bottom of my heart
yet i cant laugh wholeheartedly.
so i just keep quiet.
and smile at the things people say to try to make me happy and pretend tat im really happy.

ward's wrong with me?

why cant i feel real happiness anymore?

no nothing bad happened to me really. things are as monotonous as ever.

but i just realised that i no longer feel really happy.
its been a long time.
a long time since i laughed like mad
its been a long time.
a long time since i could play around with my frens like some crazy idiot
its been a long time.
a long time since i truly, truly, felt happy.

as we grow up
responsibilities get heavier.
no way we can avoid it.
people place expectations on you
"grow up, eunice."
tat's ward people are telling me.
"you've got to act ur age you know."

nobody ever told me these when i was 17 or 18.

now im onli 19-going-on-20
why the sudden increase in people asking me to grow up?

i see a really cute cat.
as usual
i go "AWWW SOOO CUTE!"
in the past i would get a snarl from qinqin who would tell me
"evil cat. i'll shoo it away."
and then i'll start smacking her n we'll start laughing.

now ward i get is
"aiyo. u how old liao still act like a child."
wtf.

hais life's really difficult isnt it.

yea i did make several good frens in uni
im happy i did n some realli treats me quite well (like fangli, xavier, darylpapa, zul, jimmy etc)
bt i know
everyone's lonely.
the other day zul was talking to me
"hey eunice shall we take a same module tgr the next sem?tis sem's damn sucky for me i've to be alone all the time for 4 econs modules"
and then he told me
he would be going overseas for exchange programme for yr2 sem2.

zul hasnt been talking to me much for tis sem2
i thot he had found new frens.
i realised that isnt the case, we were mistakened.
it turns out tat. he was just busy with schoolwork n his job.
in the end, he too felt horrible having to take modules alone too.

see why i dislike uni now?
yet i've to learn to accept uni life.
well anyway time flies.
in this coming august i'll be in year2 already.
ward ? year 2??
it still feels like ytd tat i got my A'levels result.
ya i know.
"you've got to move on and stop looking at ur past. u r no longer in jc."
the Nth time im listening to this.
yesyes im moving on stop hurrying me to grow up pls!

i dun wanna think
i dun wanna think of ward to major in ward job i wan in the future ward to plan after i graduate
i dun wanna think so far.

yet i cant becux reality forces all of us to grow up and start taking our lives seriously.

~
after this loooong grumbles.
i oso duno ward's the point of me saying so much here today.
my exam's starting this sat and i cant be bothered anymore.
(well althou im freaking-shaky n fearing tat im goin to fail)
but well if you guys realised that lately eueu hasnt been eueu and u're wondering why,
i hope this blog post could explain a little to u.

yay can see bunny later lo~~XD

yayyayyay

eunice u should stop procrastinating and really go concentrate on ur books.
be a good girl go study plssss
24days later u will get ur freedom alrdy so pls jux hang in there for 24days and the misery will be over

so stop procrastinating!!

alright back to books.








想你。想你。想你。
好希望此刻我就在你身边。

and happy 2 months my dear babybunny=)



i miss you so much!

25 more days to seeing u >.<

mugmugmug
im crushed by books!!!!

how im stoning at my books and exams are onli 13days away!!
i cant keep my full concentration on studying!!!!
HELP!!!

OMGOMGOMG
when i received the phonecall from qinqin today to tell me about the good news i jumped up in JOYY!!
i was pratically "AHHHHHHHHH!!!!"-ing over the phone
hahahaha
im sososo happie for my dear qinqin
i sure hope it will turn out well
beloved qinqin im going to pray for u every night!
yewyew will be here for you de!
YAY tofu let's pray for qinqin tgr!

today i've spent my day at home trying to revise for my final exams
in the meantime
i took quite some time to sort out my thinkings
im glad i thought things through=)

becux i'll hold on to this faith.

alright exams are going to start in another 20days time.

my exam date:
25th april - 7th may

eueu is going start going missing alrdy to hopefully start mugging.
im going to MSN LESS. YES I AM.
so if u guys see me on msn pls start scolding me to ask me why i aint studying
OKAY??!
thanks alot.

and its like. this period of time have to stop seeing babybunny=(
sobs~~
sigh. no choice. who ask me so lazy now must hug buddha leg=(

okay events up!
i realised i havent been blogging much about where i've been to lately
well not acting mysterious but its bcux i havent got any photos so dun wanna bore u guys ya
anyway
last thurs went to bunny's house to chionnggg my assignments~
last friday went to kbox with elvin~
today went to TCC@Millenia Walk with baby to study tgr again~
and then went yukiyaki and ate until damn bloated
then baby got work so so pei him back to bishan cux its going to be another 32 days before we'll see each other again
AHHH =(

alright keep ur fingers crossed.
eueu is GOING TO start mugging.
BLOG LESS. MSN LESS.
(i think i shld STOP msning thou its impossible)
oh man. i sure hope i pass my exams at least.

no mv.. but a super cute song! people who know canto.. shld feel tat tis is damn cute=)
enjoy!

话太普通 by 农夫

牛肉
牛肉
六点半
lu点半
我喜欢你
我是honey
你讲乜了
我普通话太普通
怪小时候不用功
我喜欢你却不能够懂
情话在我心中 却卡在喉咙
我普通话太普通
怪 小时候不用功
我说广东话你听不懂
你
识听5识讲
姑娘,你怎么不走过来
对面的女孩都已经看过来
看过来 看我心花为你朵朵的开
我想带你去山顶看夜景
我要带你去中环shopping
你要
去边我就去边
这些话怎样说才行
你喜欢我不喜欢
为何你一见我就发呆
喜欢我不喜欢
为什么你都不说出来
因为
我普通话太普通
怪 小时候不用功
我喜欢你却不能够懂
情话在我心中 却卡在喉咙
我普通话太普通
怪 小时候不用功
我说广东话你听不懂
你
识听5识讲
姑娘,你怎么不走过来
对面的女孩都已经看过来
看过来 看我心花为你朵朵的开
我想带你去好吃的茶餐厅
我要带你去兰桂坊club
你要
去边我就去边
这些话怎样说才行
好呀
去边系乜野
你喜欢我不喜欢
为何你一见我就发呆
喜欢我不喜欢
为什么你都不说出来
er
可能不知道
我的名字其实我在香港很红又在上电视很多冠军歌 写很多歌词
我和你的语言不同
我普通话与众不同
我想告诉你你的微笑象微风
怎样说你才懂
我真是没用
我普通话太普通
怪小时候不用功
我喜欢你却不能够懂
情话在我心中 却卡在喉咙
我普通话太普通
怪 小时候不用功
我说广东话你听不懂
你
5好意思,我5识听又5讲

went for lunch buffet with my mummy at parkroyal hotel the other day
had went there once with ex-colleagues before and it was great
i shall let the photos do the talking=)

sashimi, seafoodcheese with asparagus and mushrooms:


cold scallops:


shark's fin soup and drunken prawns:


they even have icekachiang:


chocolate fondue..my fav!:


cheese platter, desserts:


orea whip and choco mousse:


strongly recommend drunken prawns, choco fondue and choco mousse.
but they change their items every now and then=)
drool~

people who knows me
knows that i never watch any video links tat people recommend
youtube or not
xavier should know best haha.
cux i feel tat its quite a waste of time.
today was an exception
daryl papa showed me tis n felt strongly tat i shld watch.
so well okay, one exceptions or two in awhile, i watched it.
and im seriously so touched by it, so i thot i would share with everyone here.
even me, someone who dun watch vids, say its good.
so its really good.
do take a short 13min off to watch:

sheesh look at the time.
it's 1am and im still not done with my socio presentation due on mon
and i've to go out on a fieldtrip with jia rifah n yichen tmr for our SEA report.
frigging sleepy now.
but i cant sleep yet=(

yew is freaking dying and crushed by all the assignments/projects yadayada DEADLINES!

yes im dead bcux of deadlines.

and i miss my baby bunny!!!! sorry bunny cant pei you. =(

no matter ward,
right now. right at this moment.
it's just all about you.
you. baby.
none other.

im missing you.

rawrrawr~
went out with babybunny after school ytd
met him at somerset and we went for some shopping
then we took 16 to ecp thereafter
was praying so hard it dun rain
luckily the rain stopped after some morning shower=)

becux i met bunny right after my lessons,
i didnt have time to eat lunch,
so we went to LJS @centerpoint tgr
and babybunny was very caring to bring me a bao~
haha and i had it for breakfast this morning cux didnt eat it ytd

haha cute bao=p

we sat at the sands on the beach and started camwhoring and playing
till 8pm plus
lols playful bunny.
*scratch u*



hope to see u soon again.
feel very guilty i have to rush home all the time.
*hugs*

eueu is a happy eueu again bcux of babybunny!

im so thankful that i met you.
thinking of u just makes me smile=)

are uni students all so despicable?
sucks la walao eh!
i checked my mails this morning when i woke up and
i got an email from my socio tutor ytd reminding me to send my preparation for tutorial
and the presentation is TODAY.
ward the hell!
im supposed to be doin on family&deviant and not gender&race.
so i replied noorman(my tutor) and asked him if there's some mistake?
this was his reply:

Hi Eunice,

I saw your name written for Deviance/Family, but there were arrows on the sign-up sheet to show that you would be swopping presentations with Rachel (who wrote her name for Race/Gender)

Cheers,
Noorman

okay fucking thanks to whoever who swopped me without my permission.
wtf is this??!!!!
please la. whoever did that
can u jolly well get some manners and respect for others.

jiamin is right man. socio kids are despicable.
last tutorial when our tutors asked
"who wants to do the presentation on race&gender for the next tutorial?"
the four of us and several others raised our hands.
so we thought not many pple wanna do.
then the tutor passed down the signup list from the left side of the classroom(we were at the right side)
and then when the list reached us the list was FULL.
okay nvm. we thought. maybe they shy so didnt raised their hands.
okay lo. we do family&deviant. its okay la.
and wtf is happening now?
i feel so much like scolding f now to whoever did this okay.
ARGH.

im NOT going to give in okay.
i just sent an email to noorman to tell him it was swopped without my knowledge.
he hasnt reply=(
but im NOT going to give in to whoever bietch who did this.
she can jolly well present her part today.
and if she cant, too bad.

okay chill eunice chill.
here's another news to share with u all:

Singapore school hit by second suspected suicide

A Singapore university has been shaken by a second suspected suicide on campus in a week after a Chinese national was found hanged in his dormitory room, police and press reports said Sunday.

The body of Zhou Zheng, 24, a project officer with the School of Electrical and Electronic Engineering at the Nanyang Technological University, was found by flatmates on Friday, a police spokesman said.

He was from the same school as David Hartanto Widjaja, an Indonesian student who stabbed and wounded a professor before committing suicide on March 2.

The Straits Times newspaper said the two were believed to have worked in the same laboratory in the school but quoted university officials as saying the incidents were unrelated and the two were unlikely to have known each other.

Zhou had previously worked with a memory-chip manufacturer but was retrenched last year as Singapore entered its worst economic recession.

He started his new job in the university, where he earned his engineering degree, on the same day Widjaja attacked the professor and killed himself by jumping off a pedestrian bridge in the school.

hais. uni like reali sucks big time.
and i still have to be tortured for another 2/3years?
i hate hate hate this man.

i was in such a jovial mood ytd and when i woke up this morning
had spent a whole day with bunny ytd and had fun with him
met him at J8 for lunch and then went his house and tried to start on my socialwork debatepaper
it is such a bliss to have him beside me when im mugging miserably.
he will offer help.. make me laugh and smile every now and then.. caringly pass me barley water.. cheer me on when i feel like dying..
he even helped me to search for articles on family&deviant (aiya bunny i forget to bring it home)
and then at arnd 4pm plus i stopped my work (sian liao lol) and we just slack around abit
and went to play badminton and volley~
haha it was fun we played until 7plus and went back his house to wash up
then bunny drove me home after going to simei to fetch his fren.
it was a pity i couldnt join them for dinner at 85(>.<)

eueu is happy happy.
and then this morning this stupid dumb email had totally spoiled my mood okay.
and my dad have to keep on blabbering about his fren's daughter getting scholarship blahblah
then i super pissed off by the email alrdy he still come compare me with others
so i just walked off in the midst of his nag
then he smack the table and got angry.
watever la.
u so smart u go get ur own scholarship la.
tell me for ward.
if u get a scholarship urself then come tell me.
show me u can set a good example to me and i will start listening to u instead.
sorry ar. im so totally not in awed of u.

hais.

ytd was the release of A'level results.
first of all,
congrats to my little junior kuan wu
who scored 3As for his H2!!
woohoo~u are one smart son!
so proud of you=)

i rmbr one year ago
we were experiencing this same veryvery intense feeling.
worries, anticipation, fear.
one year just flew by like that,
unknowingly, our year 1 uni life is also ending soon.
i really missed the jc times.
i miss my dear frens and the life we had tgr.

i saw this on minmin's blog.
i've asked for her permission alrdy,
and i've decided to share it with everyone.

~
adapted from minmin's bloggie:
Anyways like I said, I was feeling a teeny weeny bit of sadness when I saw how happy my friends were when they know that they are able to enrol into local unis.
Maybe what I felt was something known as "envy".
Then I started to ponder...

What if I have re-retaken A`s as well?
Could I have achieved good results like what my friends have gotten?
Could I be able to enter the prestigious local unis as well?
And by doing so, could I have been able to fulfill the dreams of my parents and I?

I know it`s useless to think about this now because well, life has moved on for me.
To quote Mindy`s catchphrase, maybe "God has other plans for me."

So while making our way to TM Mac with Amina, I thought over what happened to me that time last year.
I remember the nerves clearly.
I remember that I was very excited before I got my results.
I was smiling and laughing and playing with my girls though we were nervous.
When I saw my result slip, I stoned for a moment and laughed.
Laughed out loud.
Just then, HQ caught me and dragged me to a corner.
That was when she gave me a beary hug and I collapsed in her arms.
Drama, I know.
Then Amina brought me out and we walked from the school to Tampines Interchange.
We never talked for once during the walk.
It was an antagonising walk, as far as I can remember.
I reached home, without uttering a word to anyone, threw my dreaded result slip on the floor and locked myself in the room.
Cried myself to sleep.
My parents were clueless as to what to do about me.

There were some things which I came to know about during the dark period of my life-
Murphy`s Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
And this very own motivational phrase from dear Mel mel: Form is temporary; Class is permanent.
I remember how Talia used to counsel me as well, telling me that it was not the end of the world even if I flunked my A`s.
I thank all my friends who brought me out of the emotional distress.

One year on and I`m living life well.
Though the thought of being unable to further my studies in a local uni seems like a regret for me, I will, however, say, who doesn`t have regrets in life?
RIGHT?

PS: Sometimes being too optimistic in life helps.
~

when i saw ward minmin wrote on her blog i felt like crying.
these are the things we have to go through to grow up
the harshness of reality and life
the inevitably of getting hurt.

min's words reminded me of my very best fren.
she'll have to start facing reality very soon.
and im very worried for her.
be strong. pls be strong no matter ward the outcome is.
stop avoiding. pls. dun hide in ur own world anymore.
it hurts me to see you like this.
i missed the days. i miss you. i miss you so much.
and i wan to see u happy and cheerful. from the bottom of ur heart.
not just false fronts.

everyone will meet their ups and downs.
it's part and parcel of life.
u're not alone,
u have us.

like me now..
i have to say. i hate my uni life.
im not as strong. you know eueu had nvr been a strong person.
im always reliant on my frens arnd me for support.
but im learning to love my life. or at least trying to accept it.
bcux i know
no matter how much i hate my life,
there's nothing i can do to escape from the things i hate.
i will have to face it anyway.
i can only make things btr by looking at it from anth perspective
or working on different aspects to make myself happier.

im still a unhappy eueu.
i still hate uni. still hate studying.
i still cant enjoy my life. im still deprived of my freedom.
i still cldnt get on good terms with my family, and its getting worse in fact.
and i still miss jc life and my jc frens very much.

i couldnt extract myself out of all these troubles.

but im trying. bcux life has to move on.
i try to do my work. bit by bit.
and i make myself feel btr by thinking bout my bunny.
i talk more to pple. since i cant go out to meet them. msn. sms. phonecalls.
cux i love the pple arnd me.
i try to communicate patiently with my mummy. althou im not giving much a damn to my dad.
and i try not to think of jc all the time. occasionally i do emo over it thou.

its tough. im tired of trying all the time.
but giving up will only mean that i will feel even worse.
so dun give up too, okay?
we'll all be working on our lives. making it better.
its a forever thing.
bcux we want happiness dun we.

and one last thing.
you are my best fren. and it will stay that way.

Student jumps to his death after stabbing lecturer at Nanyang Technological University

A final-year male student jumped to his death after stabbing and wounding a lecturer at Nanyang Technological University today.

University officials confirmed that the young man was dead and that the professor, identified as Professor Chan Kap Luk, was in a stable condition in hospital.

Friends of the dead man identified him as David Hartanto, a 22-year-old Indonesian-Chinese student, and the university said his family had been contacted.

Mr Hartanto and Prof Chan, who is in his 40s, were both from NTU's Electrical and Electronics Engineering faculty, where the attack took place.

Reports say the Mr Hartanto had been who had slit his wrists before leaping off the multi-storey engineering building.

His body was found at the foot of the building.

Police at the scene were trying to establish a motive for the attack, which sent shockwaves across the campus and horrified friends and family of both men in Singapore and Jakarta.

"The university is deeply shocked and saddened by what has happened," NTU President, Dr Su Guaning, said in a statement.

"The matter will be investigated thoroughly. The university community will rally together at this difficult time and do our utmost to help the student’s family, the professor and his family, and those traumatised by the incident.”

Past and present NTU students were shaken by the incident.

They said the dead man had been a bright and friendly student who came to Singapore to study after graduating from SMUK 1, a top high school in Jakarta, where he had excelled at mathematics.

Mr Ivan Jeremiah, 23, an ex-NTU student who was also the assailant's schoolmate at SMUK 1, told MSN he was "shocked" by the tragedy.

"He was quite high-profile in school and used to appear in school journals and magazines," said Mr Jeremiah. "I never expected that something like this would happen to him."

Dr Su said the university’s counselling professionals have been mobilized to help.

NTU was helping the police with investigations, he said.

SEE! we really shldnt study too much leh!

Singapore's education system is TOOO stressful

especially uni (T~T)

your life isnt as messy as u thought of it to be.
think about it. u are very fortunate as compared to many others.
so stop bringing yourself down, stop grieving,
start loving your life. start loving yourself.

if you really hate your life that much.
then work to make it better.
emoing doesnt help. it will only make it worse.
in life,
one plays many differing roles.
sometimes one will get tired. one will get the roles mixed up.
and the expectations of each roles will get you crazy
but no matter ward
bear in mind..
love yourself. bcux others love you too.


so do the best you can. but most imptly. be happy.